The Butter-knife Effect – WMT

If you saw our article about the BC & GoG meetup between DemonSpawn and Ashland or you read the announcement on the PW Forums, you know that butter-knives are ‘in’ – but not for spreading your favorite condiments, no, for agreeing to peace terms between warring alliances.

That’s right – the offering and acceptance of a butter-knife is how BC got out of war and evidently it is how The Island will also find its way to peace…among other peace terms. To anyone who’s been playing online games, especially ones like this, the idea of meeting up in person isn’t really new. If you are friends with someone and you find out you live close, why not actually meet up in person? In my history I’ve seen group meet ups, friends traveling, and even treaties being signed – but never have I seen a butter-knife exchange.

As you may (or may not) know, The Island is an incredibly small – even smaller now that we kicked some VM-bitches and lost a dude to deleting – alliance that pretty much keeps to itself. We’ve got few allies and we just jam (no pun intended) on our little island and do our own thangg, but we found ourselves engaged in war with our main opponent being Guardians of the Galaxy. Due to our previous battles with Arrgh & Oblivion – GoG entered in at just the right moment to pin us to the ground and give us that old beef stew (fart in the mouth) – but thanks to communications being open, we have been working on some peace terms and I think we finally figured out exactly what GoG wants from us, here they are as they stand currently:

  • A member of ‘The Isle’ must provide a butter knife to Ashland in Guardians of the Galaxy.
  • The Island must change their alliance name to ‘The Isle’ for three months (or until Max re-rolls his nation)
  • Max has to stop bullying ‘georgie’ as GoG does a #standup to bullies.
  • The Island must formally renounce all ties to Cynic and apologize for any involvement they may (or may not) have with regards to Cynic stealing BC’s bank.

Obviously, Ashland was tasked with writing these peace terms, therefore we have forfeited the ‘humor’ and ‘fun’ aspect of old-school peace terms as I believe the punch-line for these ‘jokes’ only rest within the realm of Ashland’s mind, but for the sake of his comedic career, we have agreed to these terms.

  • Pictured above is a perfectly fine butter-knife, the same butter-knife that will be sent to Ashland’s box. This knife will be sent along with a fancy Christmas Card signed by all of ‘The Isle’ via priority flat-rate shipping by the United States Postal Service.
  • The Island will change their name to ‘The Isle’ because it really doesn’t make a difference in the long run, they mean the same thing – and 3 months flies by, we look forward to the change as our theme and alliance always changes.
  •  I don’t know who Georgie is, but I will be writing a public apology to Georgie and to anyone I’ve hurt while on my cyber-bully crusade & will take a vow to #StandUp to any and all bullies I come across.
  • Cynic is trash – this one will be easy.

Although these terms don’t cross the realm of what most people would call funny and although they are as humorous as breaking your humerus – they aren’t that bad in the long-run. Honestly, I have to thank and commend Seeker for being open to dialogue and communication with The Isle. The Isle, although small, has taken quite a beating from GoG and other opponents during this war – and even if it does suck to lose pixels, that is all part of the game. Most times, you don’t even know if your alliance is worth or if the people you call your community and family actually belong in what you envision your alliance to be – we lost some, but it truly made our group better. This war has taught us a lot, proved that systems we put in place work, and even proved some other things need to be fixed. War is a true test of what an alliance or group of nations can be.

The Isle looks forward to securing these peace negotiations and put this war and the past between GoG and TI behind us. There is nothing greater than fighting on grounds of disagreement and coming to an end beaten and bruised with agreement. These things should happen more often in this world of Orbis. It reminds me of my childhood days, growing up with siblings, beating the shit out of each other to get that aggression out and then plopping on the couch playing video games or playing outside till the street lights came on. It’s just good for you.

 

#11Strong

Real Life Peace Terms

Fight, two fists hitting each other over dramatic sky

December 9 2018 | ORB Weekly War Room

You’ve probably already heard – peace is being brokered across the world in back channel negotiations. Just a few days ago Ripper was kinda enough to post up some terms that are being negotiated which it seemed many people were against. Today, we are here to talk about Bad Company & Guardians of the Galaxy.

Bad Company recently left the Vanguard Bloc and found themselves in a heap of trouble when multiple IQ alliances decided to knock on their door and fell down even harder when an ex-member decided to betray them by stealing their bank all while leaking information to BC’s would-be opponents.

Bad Company, once on the top 15 peaking at nearly 157k total alliance strength now sits at #38 on the alliance rankings with just under 60k total alliance strength – a beating that has led to today’s news – The Surrender of Bad Company, but this wasn’t one of your typical surrenders. One individual from each alliance met up in real life, outside the confines of our virtual world to make this peace transaction…real.

Ashland, acting as an ‘advisor’ from Guardians of the Galaxy and DemonSpawn one of Bad Company’s Executives met up at a bar today to make the peace agreement final. Within these peace terms, the first article “The Exchange of Blades” mentions that “BC will relinquish one of his own butter knives, which he will have brought from home, to the highest ranking representative of GoG or Ashland if the highest ranking representative of GoG happens to be IVK.”

Pictured above is the Butter knife that DemonSpawn brought Ashland to make the peace agreement official. Within the peace agreement, both BC and GoG agree to the following:

  • 6 month NAP.
    • BC cannot participate in any wars outside the defense of itself or its current M-level allies for 6 months.
  • BC will put the phrase “Ask Alexio” on their flag.
    • Taking up approximately 15-20% of the flag, which at this time has not been done.
  • BC will be required to whine loudly and frequently about the war to anyone who will listen.
    • Examples: “It was a dogpile!” – “CB was shit. What does ‘Ask Alexio’ even mean?”
  • BC will end devil worship and cat abuse
  • Make Gorge’s Status Official
    • Gorge must be made a princess of BC.
  • Loans
    • Loans may only be taken from HB for any ‘rebuilding done.’

signed

Both alliances signed and looks like they even had an official seal to make the engagement as legit as possible.

We believe this type of interaction to be what the community needs. Maybe not so much real life interaction, but terms that engage humor and creativity. We are of the opinion that these types of terms make the community less hostile, wars more frequent, and the game more enjoyable.

“I’m home. I’m alive. Ily demonstpawn. Pretty drunk still. I kept drinking afetwer we left the bar. That cigar wasg mm mmm mm GOOD! o/ BoC” – Ashland via PW Forums

 

“I had a good time as well. Take care of the Butterknife, don’t get too comfy with it!!!” – DemonSpawn via PW Forums

 

 

What do you think?

Recognition of Saltivities – WMT

salt bae GIF
This is an opinion article. The views here are strictly opinion and based literally on what I think. The views within this article are not a solid representation of the alliance I am in, my allies, or Orbis Weekly. Enjoy!
What’s up ORBIS!
It has been a little bit since we had a WMT (or any article) up on here and it just feels fitting to throw in WMT with some extra salt. Today we are going to be talking about GoG’s or maybe just Ashland’s Declaration of War on my alliance, The Island. In all honestly the only thing he declared war on was whatever respect he had left with his PW persona. To understand the full story of this insanely timed, placed, and executed DoW – we first need to take a step back into the past.
Before we step back, please understand that the actual act of declaring war on nations of TI is not what is wrong – war is war and we have been enjoying it all – issues arise with the words Ashland attempts to spew publicly in effort to make himself look great? Maybe he’s trolling? I that case – the issue is he’s a shit troll and either needs to try harder or not as hard…hop into the time machine, its time to head back!
aging doctor who GIF by Feliks Tomasz Konczakowski
It is the year 2015, nearly 4 years ago. Two alliances who were once allied to each other turn a diplomatic dispute into a battle. These alliances were Brotherhood of the Clouds led by Lord Frostsword and Earth Systems Alliance led by The Speaker. During this time in PW history color spheres were ‘a thing’ and they were used frequently and claimed. Brotherhood of the Clouds, Earth Systems Alliance and United States of Terra created a bloc on White and claimed it as theirs.Within our council we had a section that said “Alliances that move to the White Sphere without notice and refuse to meet us diplomatically will be met militarily.” Thinking back, I think we thought we were all tough shit and that nobody would really bother with it…but we were wrong.
Shortly after our little launch, Arrgh! and the Guerrilla Republik moved to the White Sphere to challenge our words. Pretty much boiled down to Arrgh! and Guerrilla Republik leaving White if we changed our article within our sphere – the one that stated basically this shit is ours and anyone who comes here will be rekt. Over the course of this incident and the time spent with BoC we learned that we really didn’t have the same interests. ESA wanted to go to war with Arrgh! and GR or at least show that we are standing our ground and BoC wanted nothing to do with that. There ended up being a lot of rumors on both sides of the argument and eventually ESA decided we should leave our little white bloc and go our own way – this obviously pissed off BoC.
You gotta remember, back in these days it was a lot different than the current. Almost a completely different game in terms of mechanics. At this current time BoC was 53 nations strong at 16,114 total alliance score and ESA was 24 nations strong at 8,026 total alliance score. Which is not comparable to alliances of that score today…I don’t think there were even nukes yet. Anyway tho, ESA and BoC went to war.
If you know the story and you compare it to the recently DoW – you can see that Ashland likes to swap things around just a little bit. I think there might actually be something mentally wrong with the way he lays out ‘facts’ and produces an argument.

Ashland when he wakes up every morning.

The status quo of Ashland is to throw out a bunch of nonsense, all random, all trash and hope someone takes a bite. Ashland and BoC lost the PR war back then and Ashland and GoG will continue to lose that PR war today. Not to mention, its nearly 4 years later….

“Hi, TheSpeaker. How’s it going, sweetheart? Long time no see.”

This is how Ashland starts GoG’s declaration of war on The Island…after we were already pummeled by Oblivion and Arrgh in a very gentleman-like war. (Shoutout to Bluebear and Ockey who act like gentlemen and not whiny little bitches/Ashland). So, let’s make a couple of points clear here:

  1. The Speaker (based off the game Destiny) was my name back in 2015 – most everyone knows that. Why Ashland uses that name like it’s a brand new find that everyone should know about…who knows, maybe he thinks its clever to use people’s old names? News Flash! Didn’t change my name to hide from anyone – This Just In! Everyone knows its me.
  2. Long time no see? Bitch – Seeker brags about you being in GoG all the time. Why? No fucking clue – You’re definitely not anything to write home about – let alone – be excited to have in any fucking alliance within any position. You’ve been known, once you’re out of the closet you’re out bro.

Seriously, did you fall into a coma post-citadel war nearly 4 years ago and wake up thinking we were still at war? DoW is outdated and poorly delivered. Just like the last DoW you basically wrote for LF…

Then you move on to some random ass ramble about you don’t care why and you don’t know why and you got marching orders and quotas – honestly just trash, but why should I expect good substance to come from a trash player. Once trash – always trash.

As we continue on to the post, which made me laugh as it totally brought me back to the 2015 era of the Citadel War and how shit you were at posting publicly and how you made BoC look like a burning dumpster fire…we move on to your ‘actual reason’ for CB.

Max “DID SOMETHING”

Oh..my..fucking..god. What could I have possibly done to get a garbage DoW from Ashland………….again? So, lets scroll through. Your DoW states my old name, long time no see, references our history and then you provide us with the gem “I actually don’t remember what our history was. I think our alliances were allies then enemies or something?” – scroll up to the retard gif. Then, you tell me that I can’t call my alliance micro (11 member alliance – 13 when the war actually started with Oblivion and Arrgh) – for why? I can’t call my alliance micro because it makes you feel better for hitting a micro OR because in your mind you’re attacking someone actually at your level so that you feel satisfied with a curb stomp? Just like the BoC days – attacking an alliance half your size back then and claiming a victorious win over the ‘bad guys’ – when really, in reality, you pick targets that stand no chance OR have already been beaten and then demand a parade in your honor. Ur trash bro – and unfortunately you’ll now label GoG with a larger TRASH label than it already receives from the global community, but hey, if seeker is ok with that then…fuck it right? OH..

Legit have no idea why this discord screenie won’t go any larger without looking like you just threw on your grandmas reading glasses, but it goes a little something like this:

Seeker: Well Ashland isn’t FA so his opinion isn’t the official stance and should be taken with a grain of salt.

Max: As it always has been 😛

Seeker: Not to mention he’s not even high gov.

I guess that just begs to question, does seeker really not care for GoG that much to allow a shit bag to publicly post on behalf of GoG (it is an official DoW after all) and ruin any reputation that GoG might have with its allies and the general public of Orbis? If his opinion isn’t the official stance then, does that mean the CB listed is false? Does the statement that “he’s not even high gov” add to the fact that Ashland is just a token member within GoG who really shouldn’t be taken seriously..cuz I mean guys, he’s not even high gov.

If we scroll a bit further down that thread, before it turns into an IQ fest, we see that Ashland states that they are attacking us because we poached or attempted to poach GoG gov.

Let me tell you a little something Ma’am. It is true that Natalia, EvilPiggy, Hahiha & myself were all GoG gov. We stayed there, we did our work and our time and built some good shit and it was good while it lasted. A while later I started The Island on my own and my friends came over to join – sadly – those friends were still in GoG. Unfortunate for you if you believe a player can’t depart and join different alliances and you think that is poaching. Thats called OG fam bro – I know the closest things you got to fam is all them coons that stop by and knock you over at night on the curb…cuz yes, you trash bruhhh

There ain’t nobody currently in GoG that I would consider poachable material and that is primarily because I don’t even know anyone over there. I stopped paying attention to GoG after I left. The only thing close to poaching that could barely even stretch to is our constant remarks to Don Fluffles to join our fam on The Island. Don is a god damn lifer – we all know he’d never leave GoG and it is honestly OK. We love him regardless – he will always be OG Fam.

Not to mention, Hahiha is barely even active and we just kicked Piggy for being in VM for fucking ever. So, I guess congrats to me for having 1 active ex-GoG gov member? (not including myself)

As per usual your words are garbage, your trolling is trash, and your relevance is in the gutter. You will always make alliances look like shit and my only hope is that your actions open the eyes of your allies to show what a true joke you are & what you show your alliance to be.

Seeker would be doing GoG a giant favor removing you from the alliance – I mean he already seems to think you’re kinda nothing too, so maybe stop trying? Your old school references and overplayed insults towards me and my people are honestly so stale. If you wanna insult me, get some new material.

If y’all just hit us and kept it respectable and actually had some fun with it, this would be a completely different post. You’re the type of sour player that needs to be removed from this community or at least go back into hiding. Seeker is honestly a good guy and it sucks that he got stuck with you – I mean maybe you’re chill when you’re not hard for trolling me and my people, who knows, I drove through a town in NY with the same name as you though – nothing was there, seemed beaten down and old…the whole time I was like, I wonder if he named himself after this place, its fitting.

Anyway, thats it for WMT.

If you want a tl;dr

TI loves the wars we have regardless of winning or losing its been fun and a huge learning process. Ockey, Bluebear & even Epi have been stellar opponents and gentlemen through our battles and its been great talking to them. Ashland took a trip and stumble down retard row…and should never have popped his funky ass head from the past he’s still living in.

Final Result on the Trash-o-Meter: ASHLAND IS TRASH!

Seeker, if you’re reading this – ditch that home of sexual and take me. I’ll treat you right.